Proper dining etiquette is not often required but is still important. A person�۪s manners at the dining table are an indication of his character for most people. This is true regardless of the purpose of the meal, whether it is for a job interview, a business meeting or impressing a date. Knowing proper dining etiquette is necessary to leave a good first impression. Dining etiquette varies depending on the country, the purpose of the event and a variety of other factors, making it a confusing topic to tackle. When in doubt, the safest route is to follow the host�۪s lead or discreetly observe how the host behaves during the meal and copy it.
Making Restaurant Reservations
Regardless of the purpose of the meal, the host is required to make reservations. This shows effort in planning. Making the necessary reservations avoids the embarrassing situation of waiting for a table to be available especially when there are a lot of people in the party. Make sure to check whether the restaurant has a specific policy on the dress code and inform the invited guests accordingly. Invitations for the meal are usually sent between three to five days before the event. Guests are expected to respond within 24 hours of receiving the invitation. It lets the host know how many guests to expect for the event and how many to make a reservation for. It is not acceptable to bring in an additional guest unless it is stated in the invitation. It is also not acceptable to call the host to insinuate whether it is acceptable to bring an additional guest.
On the day of the dinner, the host is expected to arrive at the venue a few minutes earlier than expected to greet the arriving guests. Wait for 15 minutes before checking up on a late guest. If no one knows why the guest is late, the host can wait for another 40 minutes before informing the waiter about any changes.
How to Use Napkins
Place the napkin onto your lap as soon as all of the people at the table have been seated. There are two types of napkins, one for luncheons and another for dinners. Luncheon napkins are smaller. These are unfolded and placed directly on the lap. Dinner napkins are folded in half with the fold facing the diner. The napkin�۪s function is to catch any food which falls on the diner�۪s lap. Use it to dab food or liquids off the lips. Do not use it to wipe the face clean or for sneezing. If the person needs to leave temporarily, place the napkin on the seat to indicate that they will be back shortly. Make sure to place the napkin on the right side of the plate at the end of the meal.
- Dining Etiquette Program (PDF)
When to Start Eating
Wait for all invited guests to arrive before starting any meal. The host is expected to sit first before the guests do. When sitting down, approach the chair from the left side to sit. Once the meal is over, or if the person needs to leave the table temporarily, rise towards the right side of the seat to stand up and leave.
The host is anticipated to make the first order as this will set the tone for the meal. If unsure on what to order or if the sequence of ordering is different, ask the server on what he or she would recommend or select a medium priced meal. Avoid ordering challenging foods or finger foods to make the dining experience easier. If the host orders wine, the waiter will pour some for the host to taste. Once the host approves of the taste, wine will be served for the rest of the guests. Do not ask for more wine, most especially during a business meeting or an interview. Guests are advised to eat at the same pace as the host. One tip is to wait 10 seconds before taking a second bite. This is to allow for sufficient time for any conversation.
How to Use Your Silverware and Dinnerware
Several forms of flatware have existed for some time but not as long as dinnerware. The spoon is the oldest known tool used in eating, used to scoop food. Knives were invented centuries later, using the same function of a spear to cut prey. It was only during the 12th century when the fork was invented in Constantinople. Several centuries more would pass before its use would be accepted worldwide.
American and European dining styles are predominant in the Western Hemisphere. In both styles, the fork is held by the left hand while the knife is on the right. With the European style, the fork remains on the left to pass food towards the mouth. On the other hand, when using the American style, the fork is transferred to the right hand when the person needs to eat.
Another difference involves the position of the fork and knife when signaling whether the person is finished or taking a break. Using the American style, a diner will indicate that he or she is unfinished by placing the fork at the center of the plate with the pointed tip facing 11 o�۪clock. The fork is placed parallel to the fork but positioned on the upper right corner of the plate. To indicate being finished with the meal, both fork and knife are placed right beside each other at the same angle as previously mentioned. With the European style, a resting sign is indicated by crossing the blade of the knife with the fork on top. The finished sign is the same with the American style. Always have the blade of the knife face the fork regardless of the style being used.
There are several types of spoons, forks and knives with different functions. As a general rule, approach the first meal using the outermost utensils. For each new plate or meal, go to the next set, working inwards each time. Dessert spoons and forks are commonly placed above the plate or may be served along with the dessert. The bread plate is located at the top left corner of the setting while drinking glasses are arranged at the top right side.
General Social Rules
Following general social rules make it easier to converse and behave appropriately during the meal. Proper behavior at the table will leave a better impression than showing off a new dress or winning a debate. Avoid controversial topics such as politics, health and religion. For job interviews, research is still key to answering the questions but avoid initiating a debate with the interviewer.
Dress codes may differ depending on the occasion and the restaurant although there are a few considerations. In general, all members are expected to dress as conservatively as possible. For the gentlemen, a tailored suit or pants and jacket is the considered the basic. Pair the ensemble with well-polished dark shoes and socks. Other than a single ring on either hand, all other jewelry should be removed. For the ladies, long sleeved shirts and skirts are a requirement. Use medium high heels with a conservative style. Much like the men, avoid any additional jewelry except a pair of plain earrings and a ring on each hand at the most.
Guests are expected to arrive at the venue on time. Inform the host as early as possible if arriving late. Once at the table, join the group at their current course. It is considered improper to order the missed courses.
Sample the meal before adding any condiments. If there is a condiment or any food which is beyond reach, do not stand up to grab it. When it comes to food, the plate is normally passed from left to right. Condiments are only passed when it is requested. Ask the person nearest to the condiment if he or she can pass it along once they are through. On the other hand, if the condiment is directly in front of the guest, the guest is expected to offer the container to the person on the right prior to using it. For salt and pepper, these should be offered and passed along as a set.
Business Etiquette (PDF)
Business EtiquetteA thank you note is appreciated whether the experience was wonderful or not. To show appreciation, sending a note 1-2 days after the event is the proper way to do it. Find something positive about the experience to write about. If the food was not appetizing, comment on the company instead or time spent with the host and other guests.
Dining Etiquette Rules
Basic manners dictate that one should not talk while the mouth is full and to only take small bites. Slice food into manageable bites to make it easier to place into the mouth. When it comes to eating bread, break off bite size chunks and butter each piece accordingly. Soups should be spooned away from the diner. If it is still too hot, gently stir the bowl instead of blowing the soup. Used silverware should be placed on the flatware plate and not on the table. This will avoid staining the tablecloth.
When it comes to pairing wines with meals, choose red wines when being served with red meat dishes while white wines should be paired with white meats. Hosts must sample the wine before the rest of the guests are served. Hold the wine glass by its stem firmly using the first three fingers. If a toast is required, this will be initiated by the host. The toasting ceremony normally occurs before the meal begins or after the dessert has been served. Coffee is only commonly served after dinner unless it is ordered along with the meal.
Dividing or Sharing the Restaurant Bill with Others
It is the responsibility of the host to shoulder the bill and the tip. This is true for business meetings as well. In the case of an interview, the employer should shoulder both. The only time the bill is shared is when friends have decided together to eat out. In any case, check the bill if the list of items included is accurate.
- Dining with Style (PDF)
Proper Tipping Etiquette in a Restaurant
The tip is a sign of appreciation for the service being provided by the restaurant staff. There are varying traditions when it comes to tipping, depending on the staff providing the service. To get a good seat, start with a $5 tip which increases depending on the type of restaurant. Waiters and bartenders get a larger percentage of the tip. For moderate quality of service, 15% of the total bill is required as a tip for the waiter. Waiters providing excellent service should be tipped at least 20% of the total bill�۪s value. Bartenders command 15% of the bill whenever their services are needed. A wine steward is tipped at 10% of the wine bill. For hat checks, parking valets and door attendants, $1-2 is given each time their service is required.
More Resources
For more information on dining etiquette, consider the following references:
- Dining Etiquette Q&A
- Career Center Dining Etiquette
- Dining Etiquette Tips (PDF)
- Five-star Etiquette for Five-star Dining (PDF)
- International Dining Etiquette Guide (PDF)
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